that we had a decent conversation
i have to say i am a lil impressed and surprised
maybe both at myself and with him
bitterness, remorse, regret and what ifs
i really always wanted to just let go
and i wished the same for him
In 47 days, i will be back in the land of the rising sun
buying refreshing drinks from quirky vending machines
getting stuck in 7-11 for over an hour cos i can't decide what to buy
bowing to anyone who will accept my bow cos i get to
eating my fill of japanese goodies
and just getting lost in the eccentricity of japanese culture
may it be mainstream or deviant
47 days and counting
someone hit the forward button already
the reality of time is killing me
proofread, edit, correct, spice up and modify
her essay that she need to submit for her distant learning degree
with greenwich university in england
last night i stayed up till 3:30am going through her essat
3 hours prior to my feverish essay editing
we were both watching tv
armed with her laptop on her lap
she threw up her hands in annoyance as she lamanted
"I'm no where near 1500 words!"
with almost 690 words short of a full essay
she was whining very much like any uni student would
when our brain juices aren't work and when we have an essay due in a few hours
(well at least she still had a full week before the paper was due)
so i asked if she would like me to take a look at her essay
to see if i could help to edit it and add in more fluff
after all i am a lit major and adding fluff and smoke
is what i am trained to do
so i spent the next 3 over hours modifying her essay
which now has 1653 over words
as she sat beside me this afternoon
she kept pointing to various things for me to correct
telling me that double spacing was needed
that she had to put the paragraph titles in
she pointed to a specific line and asked if i could change the paragraphing
little did i know that the tables were turned
once upon a time on that very same glass dining room table
my mum used to sit with me and tell me that my handwriting was horrible
that my maths homework was wrong
that i didn't do well in my chinese spelling
on that very same table
i was watched like a hawk
while my grammar was corrected
waiting while countless amounts of assessment books were marked
and it was at that very table that i was caned
when i didn't do a good job
now i sit at that very table working out my mum's next essay plan with her
telling her whats wrong with her sentence structure
and how her essay should flow
how important it is to have references in her essay
and why she should do more research
then just use the material from her reading package
it suddenly occurred to me
just how much i miss writing
how much i actually miss school
studying, learning, churning out essays
reading, referencing, relishing in the crunch time of a deadline
funnily enough i miss the feeling of it all
i actually enjoyed helping her with her essay
it was only the last 3 semesters of my uni life
that i actually really started studying
working hard for my exams and modules
the toiling and late nights paid off when i got back my results
and i liked the feeling of knowing that if i try hard enough
i could get the grades and good grades at that
so as i contemplate daily about pursuing my masters
i might actually take up my mother's suggestion
and do a distant learning course of my own
perhaps one on counselling, since it's a topic that is so close to home
and something that i feel i have an interest in
strangely enough i am looking forward to reading my mum's next essay (:
maybe i'll keep it like how she kept my first compositions when i was young
just maybe
i think i am one of the few people who have been very blessed
i have a fantastic working environment
people that i work with
are genuinely helpful, friendly and patient
sometimes the work is tough
and there is friction
they know how to joke and relax
and all in all we always pull through
my managers julien and charlotte
both have very different working styles
but they are both very patient with me
always teaching me new ways of doing things
giving me the space to sort out my responsibilities
best part is we all like a good party
the company is doing well considering the economic woes
events may be killing us
but i know that it won't be as bad as next year
cos chopard is 150 next year
it should be an exhilarating year (:
here are some pictures from the long ago
flagshiptstore opening
make a move bust it out
sometimes having nothing to say
might be the best answer
silence is the abscence of noise
but that doesn't mean there isn't the potential for words
i had a H1N1 scare
but it seems like things are fine
if not the few of us would be screwed
is like a wet dreams of sort
please enjoy the crude but very apt puns
so far it has sustained any scratches yet
knowing how careless
and utterly hopeless i am at taking care of my stuff
anything that comes into my hands doesn't last very long
or at least most of it
CTC is over and it went well
as well as it could
saturdays are NDP burnt
but there's a feather in my cap
and it's tickling my funny bone
much to other people's expense
i have some disturbing GB girls on my back
they won't leave me alone
it's like i have a post-it on my back that says
'please stalk me, i will entertain you'
'xoxo'
someone has been cyberstalking pam
yeah i know that you are reading my blog
work is getting a little tricky
but things are okay
and i should stop reading my webcomics at work.. sigh
i am going to japan
with 2 of my besties joyce and liyun!
we fly in september and i am TRES looking forward to it
now i have to curb my horrid spending habits
and save at least a $1000 each month till then
losing weight slowly
yeeaaahh thats the plan
meeting all my friends who i haven't seen in ages
trying really hard to make time and find the time
with my GB schedule i am finding it hard
i'm not really entirely happy with the committee
as i feel that quite a few officers are doing their part
or rather not taking their roles seriously
in the end i feel that i bit off more than i can chew
i can't wait for this camp to be over
i know i will have fun and the girls will enjoy it
but it's been a constain strain on me
and i have to admit that it's been eating into my work
don't you think so?
i found a really old unnamed cd in a box
while i was cleaning my room
i popped the cd into the comp
and i had a nostalgic surprise
tried to upload it to facebook
but it seems facebook is a little allergic to it at the moment
and that other people will either
brush it off as a silly notion
judge you and think you're unstable
or just not understand and give you the support you need
today i learnt that we should give our friends a little more credit
we actually have a lot more in common than we initially thought
it was a good catharsis session
it really reminds me of the happier times
maybe in the beginning i didn't want anything to remind me of the past
thats why i just wanted to shy away from all of you
it felt like every time i saw you guys
the only common topic would be him
it don't want to sound like i'm harping on the issue
and sometimes i catch myself doing that
try as i may, he's always a topic
and i hate it when i mention it
so maybe it's true, thailand was cursed
I had loads of fun there but not much sleep
So I’m kind of feeling the after effects at work
Then again won’t mind giving up more sleep
If I could stay there for another 5 days
KL is sort of like a water cooler for me
When I have run out of water
I will go to the water cooler to get my bottle filled
When i am feeling dry inside, I go to KL
I don’t think it’s so much the place as the people
After all they are living my dream
And I like to check out how
My dreams are doing from time to time
Doesn’t really look so promising at the moment though
When I go there, I spend time with my heart
With my soul, just with my own thoughts
Connections that I don’t feed back in busy Singapore
When I am there, I just know what I need to do
The things that are installed for me
The direction that I should be heading towards
Maybe when I am there without all the distractions
Without all the stress and demands
I can finally hear God’s voice clearly
He’s always been speaking to me I know
But in Singapore I just can’t hear him very clearly
I never would image that I would find people
That I could relate so well to
Across the borders and straits
Of all the many overseas groups
I could have been in charge of any
But I was in charge of them
And 4 years down the road
Many have left, others have stayed
But we’re still good friends
Back then I would have given
Anything to be one of them
Now I know my place and that isn’t mine
But I will still support them with what I have
Because they are my friends and they are living my dream
The red shirt is the most important item
That I got from KL this trip
I have had desired and coveted it for 4 years
And now I have one (:
Yes I know, I do feel like some stalker/groupie
But that shirt sort of represents so much more
It’s the hands that I know
The dreams that I couldn’t fight for
It’s the friends I have
And most importantly it’s the art that I live for
I think it give me hope
As silly as it sounds
It’s my placebo effect
Perhaps I still can fight for my dreams
And make art my life, job and love
Somehow it seems or so it perhaps is meant to be
That lyrically my muse had broken her leg
Stuck in a bone dry drought
To move was to offset a blood chilling pain
But to stay meant growing razors in her delicate throat
So she lay down where she was
Watching the blithe clouds row by as they mock her
As she closed her eyes in acceptance
A tear of sheer of regret and failure rolled to the ground
There she lay in the sand crying
She felt her own tears well inside her heart
And felt it on her skin
First simply following gravity rolling down
Then dripping subtlety onto her arm
Into the ground that was barren and lifeless
She was crying for the things that had yet to happen
And the things that had already happen
Lying there her life flowed out of her into the ground
and as she closed her eye for the final time
She gave a final sighed for the world and her mistakes
One week later out from the ground where her tears fell
A tiny emerald sapling with a seed cap on her head
Emerges through the soften ground
And looks fondly at the lying muse
i can stuff the song
the wheels on the bus goes round and round
down the toilet bowl
see you guys when i get back!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EARLY STELLLLALALALALALAAAA WONG!
we celebrated stella's birthday early on sat
hiding at marina barage
armed with multicoloured light sticks
a homemade birthday cheese cake, courtesy of joyce
decorations from diaso
drinks from 7-11
and a canon slr camera belong to yun mei mei
Joyce finally looks like she is jumping in jump shots
she is eager to show her prancing skills off
the celebration gang!
to those who are having exams
we'll go and have some more fun the next time round!
maybe if you weren't
perhaps if i were
we would have been suitable for each other
maybe even close to perfect
at least for the first 4 months
till i pop the bubble
because i am suffering from insomnia
has had me convinced that i am actually hilarious
in a cynical, come bite me kind of way
even my happier post some how has a line or two
insinuating something along the lines of
'oh screw the world cos i have a screw driver"
though the writing style
and paragraphing is TOTALLY different
i'm kind of glad i haven't changed much
i write less about specific things in detail
i'm now more about foam you get on an ice cold beer
granted it's alot of froth, alot of bubbles
but you know what the hell is coming next
if you get through the froth in the first place
i'm restarting a project i started in jc
my scifi story that i never developed
rewriting alot of things
problem is there are loads of ideas in there
that have already been explored by others
and just because i didn't read their books when i created mine
doesn't make mine any less original
sigh.. back to the drawing board
i'm going off for a shopping tripping to kl on the 7th
and i am looking forward to visiting family and friends
just some me time as well
so that i can do some reflection too
plus i am having a party out glamour style this thursday
to make FULL use of my public holiday
bring it on!
So perhaps I haven’t had anything much intellectually tantalizing to mention
Sometimes I find it a chore that I have to document
My eureka and epiphany moments on my blog
They are more for my self realisation
And moments when I am at my lowest
Which I feel doesn’t make very good dinner conversation
Period.
Then again talking about your period
Isn’t a way to inspire your dinner mates
To invite you out for dinner in the near future
generally
Yet sometimes when I read my friends blogs
they are constantly churning out their greatest moments
or their heart broken ballets with spendex
Like a 80’s compilation cd of the most 80’s loved songs
Then do I sometimes wonder what kind of songs would be in my cd compilation
Perhaps not so much of the 80s
whatwever the genre or era
Opps I did again would be up on my list
Turn back time – aqua
(I wish I could turn back time and perhaps things wouldn’t have turn out this way)
Be my escape – relient k
(I now I used you as my escape when times were the toughest, I know it wasn’t fair of me)
Big girls don’t cry – fergie
(i wish I could say that I am a big girl)
Breathe – anna nalick
(sometimes we all need to learn to breathe and just let go)
Buses and trains – bachelor girl
(I did wish my mum would have warn me more about the world but even if she did I won’t have believed her)
Could it be any harder – the calling
(yes everything gets harder the moment you say this freaking line)
Chasing pavements – adele
(you can’t find your own way so you follow the pavement set by the government)
The animal I have become – three days grace
(I regret becoming the bitch I was when I was with you)
The resolution – jack’s mannequin
(that I am a better friend than a girl friend)
Everything you wanted – vertical horizon
(but still not enough)
For you I will – teddy Geiger
(once upon a time)
Don’t wanna try – Frankie J
(then it just gets tiring)
Guilty pleasure – cobra starship
(you know you were)
Hanging by a moment – lifehouse
(anything can change in a moment and it did that faithful night)
Harder, better, faster, stronger – daft punk
(we all fall down but we come back stronger, only with scars to prove it)
Hopeless love – daphne loves derby
(love is hopeless, enough said)
Over my head – the fray
(I always get over my head and it’s not worth it)
I caught myself – paramore
(I always catch myself and I pray that I don’t do something stupid)
I don’t care – fall out boy
(I really don’t anymore)
Kiss my sass – cobra starship
(take that you sucker!)
Lips of an angel – hinder
(I wish it were true now)
Tear my heart open – papa roach
(left broken on the streets of suntec)
maybe tomorrow is a better day – poets of the fall
(that’s what I can only hope)
more than friends – Estelle
(aren’t we always? You, me, him and him)
my paper heart – the all American rejects
(yeah I hope I gave you a bloody paper cut)
stab my back – the all American rejects
(just stab my front it’ll hurt less)
By the looks of it
The soundtrack of my life is an emo one
So many indie pop bands
And angsty emo songs
Go figure
Underneath all the veneer
I’m an insecure teeny booper
Seeking the approval of the world
Still confine by the stereotypes of life
At least I still have my veneer to hide behind
Smile just keep smiling (:
dedicated to my exco
thank you for all the hard work over the past year!
we love you and we will miss you kiddies
study hard and do us proud!
pick up line of the week
small boy: want to go to butterfactory?(with an earnest face)
small boy: i've never been clubbing with a girl before...
girls: *snigger..loud laughter*
okay this actually happened and it was so not funny that it actually seemed hilarious
i can only feel a lil sorry for the little boy
i really couldn't stop laughing
yet it can bring generations together
i really miss my days as a girl
what i won't give to be back in 2000
what i won't give to be able to turn back time
i should have cherished it more
i should have been more thankful
if i could relive my life
it would have been the same
the memories are so vivid
their splendor and colour so real
they are like blooming flowers
like a rainbow in a gray sky
what i won't give to have that rainbow again
all the old gb girls from my generation
i really miss you all
what i won't do to have one last devo
in the table tennis area
singing 'we're God's family'
to fall in our squads
to polish our boots and do drill
i think i'm just tired from a long day of work
tired from all the stress of enrolment
and drill competition
but this is a good kind of tired
cos i know i've made a difference
and my memories will be the best testament
of God's love for me and for those i love
thank you God for choosing me to be in GB
i wouldn't have been so blessed if it weren't for it
dedicated to all GB girls past and present
thank you!
//+Archives
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009